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JUDY A. KELLY, LMHC

Specializing in Post-Adoption Trauma
& Reunion Counseling

Certified Post-Adoption Counselor

Licensed Mental Health Counselor

Manhattan, New York


Phone:  212-252-8921

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Birthmothers -- women who have lost a child to adoption -- often experience relinquishment as the most traumatic event of their lives. The secrecy that usually surrounds relinquishment can prevent the birthmother from processing her grief and loss. Birthmothers have described relinquishment as impacting nearly every aspect of their lives. Unfortunately, family, friends and even counselors do not always grasp the long-range effects of relinquishment on birthmothers.

Likewise, the adoptee also experiences trauma as a consequence of separation from his/her first mother. The original separation trauma is compounded by an adoption system which thwarts the adoptee from discovering his/her biological identity and roots of origin. The adoptee’s trauma can be triggered by many life events, such as, puberty, pregnancy, search and reunion. The adoptive self consists of both a biological self and an adoptive self. It is only when both aspects of the adoptee are integrated that the adoptee can perceive his/herself as whole and complete.

Recovery of the separation trauma for both birthmother and adoptee involves integration of those aspects of self that have been split off as a result of the trauma. Both the birthparent and the adoptee are well advised to obtain professional counseling prior to and during the search and reunion stages.

I am both a reunited birthmother and a counselor. The results of research I conducted on "The Trauma of Relinquishment" are available online for your viewing.


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Many birthmothers find it very helpful and healing to meet with other birthmothers. The MANHATTAN BIRTHPARENTS SUPPORT GROUP meets in Manhattan on the third or fourth Thursday of each month from 7:00PM to 9:00PM. Time can be scheduled before meetings for birthmothers who are thinking of searching or have already begun their search. If you are interested in attending, please contact me by phone or e-mail.